• Chantelle Vischer

Something's got to give

Trying to find my new normal

Hey there,

My oh my, what a surprisingly unpredictable few weeks it has turned out to be and it appears as if though this is only the start of more uncertainty to come. I’ve actually never read the word unprecedented times as much as I have the last three to four weeks. Yet, amidst all the uncertainty, I must be honest, I’ve found a sense of internal peace. A peace that is continuously reinforced by the vastness of our God and His plans for our world, country and families.

Now… Real moment! Although I’ve somehow managed to find internal peace, that doesn’t mean that there’s been external peace whatsoever. In fact, it’s been absolute chaos in our household these last few weeks as we’ve tried to establish our new normal and it’s because of this exact reason that I haven’t really been able to write. Which is something that I absolutely love to do and really missed.

Anyway, back to the chaos. As you might have read in one of my previous posts I am a proud wife to a hard working husband, a mother to a very busy, inquisitive and stubborn little 1 ½ year old boy and of course 3 furry kids which consists out of two, might I say, high maintenance Yorkies and a clutsy Great Dane. Just between us, there's been actual moments where I've tried to hide from all of them. Don’t get me wrong, my husband has been a champion at helping out, but he is also an essential worker and has had to go into the office / shops or do so many zoom meetings from home.

You see, in a heartbeat it's been expected of me and so many moms out there to become full-time; working-moms, domestic-moms, teacher-moms, ministry-moms, fun-moms, creative-moms, disciplinary-moms, fitness-moms, honestly the list is endless (you can also replace the word mom with dad / gran etc.). However, just to show some more authenticity to you all – I’ll be the first one to admit that I’ve struggled to balance all of the above roles, all at once, which has made the perfectionist in me cringe a little bit. Ok I lie – It’s made me cringe ALLOT!

Here’s the thing, though, whilst trying to set a routine for myself and my family to, hopefully, try and manage all of the above roles to the best of my ability, I’ve come to realize that maybe I don’t have the capacity for it all and if I’m going to walk out of this lock down sane and ready to take on whatever the future holds. SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE. I might not have it all figured out yet, but I thought I’d let you in on some of the things that have helped my sanity over the last week or so.

Firstly, I want to remind you that amongst all the roles that you have to fulfil. The word to focus on is MOM / DAD / PARENT. These times are possibly even more trying for our children than we realize and often what they need more than the routine, the creative activities, the discipline, the teaching etc. is their MOM / DAD. Love them through the tough days and the better ones. Maybe that means not ticking all the school-, cleaning- or work-related tasks off of the to do list for that day, but I’m here to tell that, that’s ok. What our children will remember from this time is not necessarily what they were taught (academically) but more so how we as parents carried and supported them through this time.

Secondly, stop being so hard on yourself. Take brief movements to feel the feels. If you feel sad, distressed, overwhelmed, tired, confused, you fill in the blank. Take note of those emotions, embrace them and then try and move on from them. Don’t isolate yourself or try and avoid the inevitable. Call a friend, tell your husband or you can even SEND ME A MSG. Right now, more than ever we need to not only support but be real with each other.

Thirdly, try to capture the joyful moments and look back on them especially on the days that seem tougher than others.

Lastly, make time do one thing that you love, even if it’s just once a week. It shouldn’t be something you have to do but something you really want to do.

Till we meet again,

Chans x


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